What I am about to write is no laughing matter!…Maybe it is,but whatever.This entry is going to be EXTREMELY cheesy,so if you read through the entire post,prepare to cringe.
At my therapy session yesterday,the topic of “love” was brought up and my current relationship.Eida-san wanted to know how this love makes me feel,function,and how can I be certain that it’s not lust rather than love.Without hesitation,I informed her that I am absolutely certain with my whole heart that I am in love with this person.
I like to believe that my exposure to the rest of the world,mostly western cultures at a young age helped shaped me into a more progressive Japanese than the majority around me.I have a more laid-back perspective on alot if topics and issues that most Japanese would shy away from or ignore because it’s “too much”.With that said,I know what liking someone for pure lust is like and I know what loving someone feels like.What this person make me feel everyday is something I have never felt my entire life and this person isn’t really doing much to provoke it,but by her just being herself,it sends me to the moon and back.
One thing that solidifies my confidence in my love for her is: I am investing all of my time and effort into being able to speak fluent Spanish.Yes,you read that correctly.For the past 2 years,I have bought over 6 books to aid in my studies,listening to Mexican telenovela(dramas),becoming accustomed to the music,and using an app to test my skills of the language.Yes,I am doing my absolute best to learn Spanish not for her,but for the sake of communicating with her family someday.
I have been in plenty mixed relationship in which the language of choice wasn’t just Japanese or English,there have been many.The difference is,I never felt this strongly enough to go and chase the language nor have I had this logic attached.
When I grew close to her,my initial thought was to pick up Spanish so I could understand her and her culture better.Without hesitation,I started studying as if I was back in high school.The very first attempt at a Spanish phrase with her was “Buenas tardes(good afternoon)” and she mocked my pronunciation of the words and since then,my heart became set on her and my journey needed Spanish a part of it.
So is it love or lust?I am 10000000000% certain that it’s love because studying this language everyday without fail leaves me utterly brain dead at times lol.I don’t mind,because one day it will come in handy when I am able to communicate to her family that I plan to marry her and get their blessings.
If you are reading this,you know who you are,and I love you so much.Thank you for sticking with me.