What I am about to say is the direct opposite of my blog title,but….Good morning everyone.
Yesterday was rough for me emotionally,mentally I still haven’t processed what it all means,and physically depression has my body unwilling to move.I called in sick to work today because I just can’t get out of bed and I am not sure when I will be able to.It’s just….nothing in this life is guaranteed to us and we all want to believe that we can hold on forever.The truth is,nothing is really in our grasp fully,we only trick ourselves into clenching what cannot be held forever.Yesterday I learned that the hard way.
The funny thing is,one of my friends reached out to me for a translation and i gladly obliged.The translation was a self-reflection on the fleeing of time.It stated how time is goes by quickly when you are having fun and experiencing new adventures and how time seems to drag on when you are stuck in your boring ways.For the past two years,time went by in a blur.Especially last year.I got lost in a new horizon,I grew with new energy,I bloomed with happiness,and I found a reason to believe in people.I was born anew.The fault is,I never really wanted to see the sunset on this beautiful timeline,because I love how bright and vivid this life has become.Unfortunately,the sun set yesterday and I am lost in this perpetual nightfall of confusion and doubt.
I don’t know what I expected or what I wanted as the endgame,but I know that there is just one fact of life that I want to be around forever.Without that truth,my entire days feel like a blank lie.Nothing makes sense nor does any of it feel real,but I know it is.
The person I am wants to evolve and become someone that could accept and understand the situation in order to prevent the loss of my beautiful sun.I haven’t slept because I am brainstorming how to carry onward and reach that height again.I don’t want this light to fade.I don’t want the sun to set on this reality.I won’t give up.No matter how hard,how much pain I must endure,nor how far I must go….I will come back to seize the day.