ありがとう!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!

I’ve never been one for statistics or worrying about the popular vote,but somehow I’ve managed to amass 52 followers to this train-wreck of a blog of mine!I don’t know how or why,but I am extremely grateful that you all took time out of your lives to read my nonsense and choose to follow my writing.Words are beyond me now because I don’t feel accomplished nor am I doing this for any popularity,I write on this blog because I have so much to say and truth be told,talking to myself is becoming a little bit strange ne lol.I feel a great sense of happiness and gratefulness for the people that take a quick glance at my writing and stick through it and some even hit the “like” button.That always make me crack a silly little smile,which is rare because I am not a smiling type,but you guys have done it!

This place is like a safe haven for me when my emotions become to heavy to carry anymore,I let out my screams and laughter here and it’s conveyed in long post or short ones;what you read is the true me with no filter or political correctness.This is me and my life laid bare.I haven’t been in a happy mood for awhile now and my writing as of late reflects that and that is why I will never filter or fake what I feel here.You will get Emo Kyo lol!
Because of you all,I feel a sense of happiness and I am thankful for each and everyone of you.From my heart,Thank you so much for taking this journey with me.I hope you guys will accompany me as i embark on more yo!

Until next time,Thank you all so much for reading!

Shinobu Kyosuke

嵐- Arashi

There are times in which you awaken in total peace,a serenity of blissful portions,but there are those days where everything that can go wrong does go wrong.I am having one of those days,and gosh…it’s been on an epic scale!
Welcome to the storm!

Tuesday,my “peaceful” rest day away from work actually becomes the day where peace is replaced with annoyance and agitation.I don’t know why or how,but I am literally in the worst mood possible.It’s not like I had a stressful prior Monday or anything of the sort;I just wake up sometimes and feel like I shouldn’t be awake.
Don’t get me wrong,I am not emo.Those days are long gone along with the cheap hair dye,dark clothing,and nail polish.
I think I have literally woken up on the rough side of the bed.

I do want to thank my wonderful and PATIENT girlfriend,Mariana for putting up with my unpredictability and unstable attitude today.She is my foundation and my safe haven.I will talk more in depth about her in my following post.So yeah,You’re getting a “My Gf is the best gf” post because Mariana is simply that,T-H-E B-E-S-T!

Well I will go back to containing my mood with Chocolates,Kid Cudi (his latest album: “Passion,Pain,and Demon Slaying”is a great listen btw),and sketching.Why does my sketches make me hate my hands!!Ugh!
On that note,I will enter my storm and exit this rant.You all have a great day and STAY positive yo!
Until next post…
Thank you for reading
Ja ne yo!

Concussion

“What’s in a blog?”,I ask to myself.I have been left so uninspired lately that I’ve just taken a 2 month leave of absence yo!Ugh!I humbly apologize.

I find myself walking a steadily quiet life.The noise that once echoed wherever I’ve roamed is fading ever-so greatly;not that it’s an issue,but I must admit,I find it to be a tad bit eerie.
I am waking every morning to silence and the ol’ grind of heading to the Tsutaya to start my daily work routine.
Yes,I work at a tsutaya/repair shop or whatever the heck the place wants to be labeled.It’s my sole occupation at the moment,because my main job of 12 years has come to a close.More on that later.

I have so much free time and I have to listen to myself think;which is a NO NO!I hate having time to think,because it means that I am wasting time that is limited these days,well….not anymore.
The point is: MY LIFE IS BARE RIGHT NOW!!

Well,This is all.I just needed to rant to kick off my return to blogging.Woooo.I’ll have more later.
See you all later
Until next time…
Take care

Welcome

Welcome…yeah it’s been a long minute.Let me break it down if y’all still with it.

I am not a rapper.I was just quoting Mike Shinoda on his song “Welcome”.But anyways,WELCOME to my latest entry!
I know,i know!It’s been months since I last gave attention to my blog and I am truly sorry for the drought.Life his been a hectic ride yo!And I must say,two jobs doesn’t entitle me to much free time.Ugh!But,I still have my health and that is why I stopped complaining yo!

It’s funny,I feel like I am in one of those spring time dramas where the lead character is led to believe one element of reality but in all actuality,It’s just a familiar element tricking that lead into believing a false new element.Hahaha.
Are you confused yet!?So am I!But I have a pretty good grasp on the situation at hand and I am oe with it.Seriously,”ride the wave,Kyosuke!” is what I tell myself.Sometimes,you have to learn to not take life so seriously ne?Just whip your hair out and kick your feet up and breathe in that precious oxygen yo!Hahahahah.

Enough of my babbling.i truly missed posting here.Why?Because I just love the idea of leaving floating messages without a direct recipient.Oh what fun ne!?
Anywho,How are you all lately?2016 treating you well?How is your careers?Kids?families?

Also,To everyone whose birthdays I failed to acknowledged,I apologize and I wish you all a wonderful and successful new year in your lives.Go forth and never look back with doubt yo!

Until next post(or shall I say;)Until my next off day
Take care,Everyone!
Ja!

Restart

Hello my dear lonely blog.Did you miss me?Awww.lol

I will be back to blogging most soon.I apologize for the delay.Forgive me.
I have some fairly exciting news…..I will start my first day at my SECOND job tomorrow!!!Yoshi!Nothing to be happy for.I’ll just be a salesman yo!Wahahaha

That is all I have for now.But i do promise that my next entries won’t be so short and vague.
Until next post
Stay happy and healthy
Ja ne yo!

Now

Good afternoon,blog of mine

This place seems to be the only place where I can feel a peace without a feeling of backlash coming my way.Wait,who knows?Maybe my post will get get me in trouble ne?We’ll see.Lets get started.

I like to believe that the weather is a tie-in with my life.And if Tokyo’s humid and wet weather is any indication,my life is predictably unstable.Yuck!
With that unstable ground comes the thoughts of what went wrong or what is currently wrong.I am by no means “perfect” but people have their opinions of you and once they are opinionated,it’s hard to do anything without feedback.Fine by me yo!

I constantly follow the same routine daily; sleep,wake up,prepare for work,go to work,draw,sleep,and repeat.
I am not bothered by my predictable lifestyle.In fact,I am highly comfortable with it yo!……But people like to dissect every little thing you do.Like that class biology subject,you will be picked apart,piece by piece.Little mistakes are under the microscope and what is in the eye of the “beholder” is something SO big,so it’s unreasonably blown out of proportion.But,trolls feed on the activity that you give back ne?So what happens when you stop reacting?It pisses off the trolls and they shuffle back into the shadows waiting for the next series of events to sink their teeth into.That’s life!Or so they say ne

What am I ranting about?I have no clue.I just missed blogging yo!Wahahaha!
But seriously,life is too short to care what is said or thought about you by the masses.Who are they?Just a bunch of people same as everyone else.Life is what you make it,and I decided to make it nice and silent.Do I care if I’m disliked?Wait,i don’t care to be liked.I’m not from Hollywood yo!Do I want to hear positive reviews of myself?Only if they are staring back at me through the mirror.Does echoing gossip effect me?Oh,i’m sorry.I was too busy blasting my ears with Utada Hikaru songs yo!
Plain and simple,STOP TRYING TO IMPRESS OTHERS AND IMPRESS YOU!ONLY YOU!!
Life is simpler that way yo!Believe me

Whether you are unstable or stable,BE YOU
Emo or happy-go-luck,BE YOU
Old and alone,BE YOU
Dancing in your underwear on a Friday night without a care in a world,BE YOU
Let the trolls bark at the flaws.Bear no claws and just draw yo!Thats what I always say.

P.S I am on a complete wrestling binge lately yo! WWE NXT IS SO DAMN GOOD!!Hehehe

Until next post(that makes sense)
Ciao

Hush

Guilty

おはようございます Good Morning

“Stand firm and shut your mouth.”
Those were my sister’s words a few hours ago.I wanted to respond with, “You shut up,baka!”,but I knew she was correct.I run my mouth a bit too much when I feel the need to try to handle certain things.My big mouth is what gets me in trouble a lot these days yo!I don’t know why I feel I must explain everything,but it comes simple to me.It’s a bad habit that I am working hard to drop now.
Note to self; “Shut your mouth,Kyosuke!

These days,I seem to have lost my mood for anything.I haven’t been updating my blog regularly,I haven’t been posting on Twitter as much lately,and I lost my drive to sketch yo!It’s a pain in my ass to be like this.Depressed and uninspired.Sigh…
Life waits for no one ne?I guess I better dust off my running shoes and blaze the path before me ne?Yes.That seems to be the best solution to my inner madness yo!Run with a strong heart,inspired mind,and piercing eyes.Let’s go!!

Well,I guess I am finished with my useless ranting.Soooooooooo,it’s time to shut off my phone and rest my insomniac head yo!I haven’t slept since arriving home from work at 3am this morning!Woooooooooo.
So I sign off with this words….
I thank you all for showing the less bit of interest in my blog.It really does mean a lot to me.Thank you all.
Until next time…
Take care
Ja mata

三十!?さようなら僕の二十。

So,Tomorrow is my birthday.Do I say queue the “誕生日おめでとう-Happy Birthday” greetings?NO WAY!!

The name of my post is “30!?Goodbye my 20s”
If you can guess my angst from that title alone,congratulations.If not,then i’ll reluctantly sound it out for you……I,Shinobu Kyosuke is turning 30 years old tomorrow yo!!Noooooooo!
I have no issue with aging in itself,It’s the fact that I don’t won’t to be mocked for it,nor do I desire to hear the early “grandpa” jokes that will surely flood my life tomorrow.Sigh.I guess it really can’t be helped ne?

I will say this,my 20s were probably my most enduring,action packed,fun,mistake filled times of my life yo!I fell in love,lost it,had a dream job,lost it,improved upon my gifts,had strained relationship with family member,Lost my elder brother to cancer,made some awesome friends from Singapore,been greatly inspired by my pandachan,befriended a sharp tongue busy writer,and last but not least,I got hit by a car that put me in a coma for 2 months yo!Wooooo!What a ride it’s been ne?Heh

Do I have any wishes for my 30th year?Not really.I only want to see my family,friends,and associates succeed in their lives.No matter what they do,i want them all to be happy yo.
So you can consider that somewhat of a wish ne?

Here’s to olden age,You sly bastard!You’ve finally caught the masked monkey,huh?hahaha.
Until next post.
Take care.
Ja

Second To None

Good Morning.
it’s a bit too early for me to be writing,but when I feel sleepless,I figured that it’s the perfect time to write.Sleepless,yet most creatively conscious.that is how I describe my extreme bout of insomnia.

November is a month a self reflection for me.The season decides to change from mildly warm to cold and I find it most fitting to do some self reflection during this transitional month.
Each day,I walk outside the doors of my apartment and I gaze upon the trees in my neighourhood,admiring the changing colours of the leaves.I see people clothing change from short sleeve shirts,skirts,tank tops,and light shoes into sweaters,coats,boots,and long pants.With the seasons,we also change in ways to adapt to our surroundings,but how much of a change do we undergo during the season?

Sitting in my bedroom everyday before the sun rises,I often reflect on the new characteristics I have undergone to become who I am today.Yes,I am guilty of adopting some new traits to better please someone else.Be it right or wrong,I bear no regrets for trying to better myself in the hopes it will bring a smile to that face.Furthermore,how much am I willing to transform?How much do I risk losing my core features in exchange for the unknown?I have reached an answer.I don’t risk anything.I just live with who I am.

I am never going to be ultra intelligent,I am never going to have celebrity looks,I am not going to be a soothing voice to sing away troubles of the world,and I can not guarantee that everything I touch will turn to gold,but one thing I can never say I did do,and that is turn my back on myself.I will not betray my beliefs and morals to become a pedestal rider.I am not entirely funny,but my offbeat brand of humour has made people who have known me laugh,my half covered face isn’t drop dead gorgeous ,but I have been able to appear and cheer a few people up,and my overall personality is not meant for everyone to understand.If you get me,you can continue to walk with me and all of my flaws,but if you don’t,it’s best to not tail me,because I will never be made into an image unbefitting of my soul.

In the end,you are better off being true to who you are,rather than risk lying to yourself for a moment’s gain.Look yourself in the mirror,embrace every little thing about yourself,build up a confidence unshaken by no one,and give rise to a better YOU for the future.Afterall,no one likes to be second,so play second to none ne.

Thank you for reading.

Pitfalls

The sensation of overwhelming fear,anxiety,and excitement of what is to come next can cause mental illness.Well,at least i feel that way.I have so many emotions bottled up inside and it’s making me truly feel insane,in the most honest form.It’s very tiresome

Relationship,family expectations,work,and self aspirations are the leading cause of my dense depression now.Do i go talk to someone?Do i go for a jog to melt away the smothering coat of life’s weights?No…
I simply put my music on and i drown out the depressing sounds of my life.

sometimes i wonder how i even carry on with all this madness in my mind and heart,but I also remember why i must carry on.Its in my name to survive.It’s in my name to endure these hardships.
Everyone struggle in some point in their lives,but its how we handle them,that defines us as people.
So,with that said,sleepless as i am,i will put my earphones in and continue to fight and carry on.

Thank you for reading