Good Morning my dear blog!
I have a short little entry today and it’s basically thanking a few people.I also want to take the time to thank each and everyone that stops by and reads my blog.I honestly don’t think I am an interesting writer,nor is my English precise enough to be good at this(English isn’t my first language).So thank you all so very much!I am truly grateful.

As you all know,I have been dealing with depression in my last few entries and I am insufferable in that state.I am sorry.I can confidently say that I am FINALLY over my depression for now,but I don’t feel as happy.To be frank,I feel cold and as if something is missing.I know I am of no importance to anyone,so are my feelings invalid?I don’t know,but what I do know is that I truly need to be grateful for my friends.
I complain alot about how “annoying” or “dumb” they are,but truth be told,they never fail to leave me alone.Me being the introvert that I am,that is seen as a negative thing,because I want to be alone(have my time),but not actually feel alone.Those people text/call nonstop yo!They literally show up to my apartment unannounced and drag me,yes,literally drag me out to a little pub to drink or to catch a meal somewhere.As I sit there,I may appear to be cho annoyed,but inside I am swelling up with joy that I sometimes can’t contain my smile(as if they could see it,because of my famous mask).
The last few weeks has been rough and stressful,because I am actually traveling to Mexico this time(long story) and I want everything to go right.Last minute shopping,preparations,fundings,etc.It’s all overwhelming and I just need a little support,but I don’t expect any to pop out from thin air lol.
The point is,I need to be more grateful of my friends.I truly appreciate you all more than you know.I will definitely hug you all soon and express my gratitude.I understand the majority of you won’t understand,so when I see you next,I’ll give you an earful in Nihongo!Thank you,my friends.

Thank you for reading




So I finally got around to finishing the ink work on this sketch.Im pretty satisfied with.It only took 5 months to complete lol.

The funny/pathetic story about this piece is that I drew this based on something dumb I did.As you can see,the mask guy represents me because,well…I am the masked blogger and the pink hair woman is my crush.
I have a huge crush on the pink hair woman and we have each other added on all of our social media sites.I generally like to play it “cool” and not comments or like post(don’t ask why.I’m weird).I was stalking her page and I accidentally hit the “like” button on one of her post and I immediately retracted it lol.My head was flooded with “what-if” scenarios of getting caught.It was pretty silly and it gave birth to the idea of this drawing.Fun times yo!

Be sure to stop by and say “hi”! :



Thank you for reading

In Progress

I’m so sorry,my blog!The lack of posts and updates is most unfortunate,but life gets in the way yo!I shall return to my all access blogging,because alot has happened between my last post and now.A tragedy,injury,a scare,a HUGE moment,losing a friend,and gaining a new job.I can’t wait to share my experiences soon.Please be patient with me.Thank you so much.

If you would like (I doubt it) you can keep up with me on these sites:



Hope to see you there!

Maldición Del Corazón

When I was about 6 years of age,my best friend,Akira and I went bike riding and we were both dumb kids,so we rode through mud,insect infested grass,and literally for almost 4 hours.The skies darkened,raindrops started falling lightly,so we gather our remaining energy to begin our journey home.About 10 minutes into the ride with home nowhere in sight,the rain poured heavily upon us,mind you that we were not prepared for rain,thus we had not been dress appropriately for such weather.Akira challenged me with “the first person to reach my (Akira’s) house wins!”,and we started peddling faster,until her front tire hit a big rock and she fell to the ground,her bike not too far beside her,and she cried out from the pain in her ankle.I jumped off my bike,ran over to her,and tried to encourage her to stand so we can make it home to my mother since she is a doctor.Akira couldn’t stand at all,so I kneeled in front of her,looking forward,and I told her to get on my back.I picked her up,leaving the bikes behind,which caused her to feel guilty,so I promised her that I would come back to retrieve the bikes once I get her home.
We finally made it to her home,my legs sore and tired from carrying her,drained of my overall energy,and soaked from the rain; Akira’s mother answered my knock and immediately retrieved Akira and aided her bruised ankle.She told me to come inside to get warm,but I bowed deeply,refused,apologized,and I ran all the way back to retrieve our bikes as promised,returned her bike,and finally I made it home.Later that night I fell ill with a high fever that lasted nearly two weeks

The moral of the story is: No matter my relationship with someone,the changing situations,or feelings,I will never give up on anyone.

The reason I am writing this is because I am attempting to rekindle my friendship with someone whom I’ve dated long ago.Insane,ne?Yes,but where is the golden rule stating that you shouldn’t be friends with your ex?If you’ve started out as friends,then you can easily revert back to friends.She was literally my partner in crime in every sense of the phrase,but our breakup not only put distance between us,it created a huge void that we couldn’t recover from.
I have always said that I forgive everything before anyone ever decides to apologize because I want to keep those precious bonds.Failed feelings of the heart shouldn’t be an excuse to dismiss someone or the memories that were made in happiness.That is my belief and on the grounds of that belief,I have maintained friendships with some of my exes except one lol and I even made good friends with people who’ve bullied me during my school years!I never give up on people that are in my life,because they have impacted it in some capacity and I am grateful for their influence.I know alot of people have given up on me and that is oke.Everyone has their own reasons for keeping you around,but if you ever come into my life,believe that I won’t let you walk away easily.My gratitude and interest will always lead me to you again.
It’s my heart’s curse.

Thank you for reading.

友達 y Amiga


This is a drawing of me and my best friend from Mexico.I drew it earlier this year and it was a bit difficult to draw for me in the beginning.Alot of it had to do with I don’t know what is her go-to style of clothing and a theme that would represent our friendship.After I’ve decided on the clothing,everything else became simple.The theme became “clingy and shy” lol.I am clinging over her shoulder and she is giving a shy smirk.It’s been the theme of our friendship that has extended over 5+ years now.
We had a bit of a falling out recently which is my fault.I hope to make amends with you one day,but I want everyone to know that my best friend from Mexico has influenced me in such a way that she found herself in one of my drawings.

Stranger Things

No this isn’t a post about the wildly popular Netfilx series,because I don’t have Netfilx anymore to review it,all thanks to that bullet to the heart American adaptation of “Death Note”
This post is about my last 2 months,which has for a lack-of-a-better-term been a bunch of strange events.I went from a super clingy(me) relationship with such a sweetheart,to running her away(UNBLOCK ME BAKA!!),and surprisingly,I wasn’t too distraught that I’d gone without sleep for so long that I’d walk into a car,get hit,and end up in a coma for a month lol.I guess it isn’t all too bad ne?
I’ve also went from working at Narita airport,as an internet technician,a store clerk,and translator to scoring the job of my absolute dreams yo!I literally busted my nonexistent hump at 4 places simultaneously to scoring the only one that I needed/wanted!Also,my break up with the sweetheart gave birth to 2(in my opinion) fantastic short stories that I want to start working on.One is a gross romantic story and the other is about finding strength and purpose during depression.More on that later though.

The strangest thing has to go to this woman i was “seeing” (not really) for the last 4 days.So my best friend/ex girlfriend,Asaki gave me the idea awhile ago to just go on dates without expectations and that will distract me from the one I was/still kinda focused on.I told my friends about it just to make small talk and to let them know that my will to live is still there….somewhere lol.So they took the idea,ran with it,and out came a woman I will refer to as A.H,convenient because she was a total asshole,but seriously those are her initials.Anyways,We started talking on LINE for hours a day,my mind is still stuck on the past sweetheart,can’t help it,so I am literally going into this thing only for friendship.No more than friends,no lets grab food on the weekends,and no sex.Back to the hours on LINE part; the majority of the time was spent with her literally talking about herself,her sob stories,and anything I had to add wasn’t relevant enough for her to even touch upon.She was one of those people that love to hear herself speak.So it all accumulated into a lunch date at a ramen shop,my treat.We sat down,ordered food,and as soon as the waitress left,A.H talked nonstop from the moment we ordered til the time food arrived.I think the only words I spoke in that timeframe was: “Yes we are ready to order” lol.
Here’s the kicker,as soon as we finished eating and I was about to add to the conversation,she got up,said: “Thanks for the meal”,left my table,proceeded to sit with another guy,and hug up with him!I was cho confused by the turn of events,that I just stared off into the distance for awhile and somehow manifested a Kyari Pamyu Pamyu song in my head.THAT’S how flabbergasted I was yo!lol.She totally reminded me of someone I dated long ago!
Stranger Things indeed ne

Thanks for reading


So guys,for the last few days,you’ve all read my flip-flopping on whether I will go to Mexico next month or will I save myself the shame and disappointment and stay home.I am still most indecisive about it.I’ve consulted with my friends and to a resounding “Fuck that trip” in the worst engrish possible lol!For me it’s not that simple and that’s why I need your opinions.
The trip has lost all meaning and it’s honestly a waste at this point.Instead on dwelling on something that was ill-advised from the start,I’ve decided to have some fun with it.Either way,Im screwed out of nearly 250.000 yen(Im not even going to try to write out all the conversions lol).With that said,I’m going to let you all decided if Kyo should go to Mexico,get drunk,and be depressed in a foreign land,or Stay in Tokyo,get drunk,and be in familiar depression?Just type “Yes” or “No” the comment section.I encourage you to give your opinions.This should be fun ne?

Thanks for reading

Losing My Mind: Chapter 2

For the last 23 hours,I have decided that my trip to Guadalajara,Mexico is cancelled.Will it stay cancelled?I really don’t know,but at this point in time and with every little fear,insecurity,and lack of hope has me on the edge of collapse.I truly want to go and be the person of my word no matter the modifications that have made this process most discouraging.I guess if I am still feeling this way around this time next week,I’ll truly be home for the holidays in Tokyo lol.Like my pun there?No no,It wasn’t clever.I suck at those yo!

Let’s be honest here,I am heartbroken,I’m in pain,I’m sad,I’m being replaced,and I’m still hopeful.I lost someone that truly captured my attention more than anyone has before,someone I could talk to for hours on end about nothing that seemed cho important,and most importantly,I lost my best friend.Yes,I have a huge crush on someone who is fantastic in every way possible.She can talk and you immediately fall in love with her voice,she stares at you and you are lost in her beautiful brown eyes,her humour is so on point,and her presence make the darkest of times,the best of times.That’s my crush.I know,it’s funny that I got myself twisted into a pretzel just for a “crush”,but if you knew what I know,you would understand how addictive this person truly is.She was my little piece of heaven.
She is waaaaaaay out of my league,but I never gave up trying to win her attention.I am learning her mother tongue to try to impress her with my ability to speak on par with her beautiful voice and to prove that nothing is too difficult when she is the one I’m aiming for.I still suck at Spanish,but oi,I’ll get better and I’ll probably drop english for it yo!lol!
I worked literally 4 jobs simultaneously to fund a trip to her city so that I can confess my admiration of her and profess my love to her.To be able to hold both her hands in mine,look her in the eyes,and speak words that are true and that convey how she is worth everything no matter the hardship,she is worth fighting for.I guess that’s why this trip means so much to me,and it’s probably the scariest thing I have ever attempted in my life.

You will read that paragraph and go “If she is so special,why cancel???”
Well,When someone is unsure about you,but you are most certain of them,who gets hurt in the end?When you feel deeply about someone and they feel less about you,who grows a hole in their chest?When you extend your hand while falling in love,but the recipient turns and walks away,who do you think falls into a downward spiral of one sided painful emotions?That’s where I am currently residing lol.I am falling and I’m praying for the bottom,but it never comes.I’m stuck in a one sided love and it’s a tornado of misery,yet I am hopeful that love prevails.My heart is telling to keep fighting,but my mind is asking why am I going the distance for something that won’t move an inch towards you.I’m torn and that’s why I want to cancel this trip,but I also want to go.I just don’t know anything.I don’t talk to my crush at all anymore and I know she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore because she says so indirectly.I understand that.I am annoying.I just don’t know where my heart is going,but I do know is that I have a crush on someone that is making me lose my mind lol.So as of now,I’m not going to Mexico.

Thank you for reading

Thank You

I just wanted to write this quick post in order to express my gratitude.
Yesterday,I put out a post about my anxiety causing some serious indecisiveness about my trip to Guadalajara,Mexico in less than 2 months.I generally just blog to clear my mind or say what I feel without ever thinking that someone would stop to actually read my ramblings.I was wrong.I don’t know why nor how,but a bunch of people read it and reacted to it and it left me mindblown!I said to myself that if I could,I would bow deeply to you all while yelling “Thank you so much” in Japanese,of course lol.
So minus the bowing,I am most grateful and appreciative of your time to read my words and making me feel like I’m not just some crazy guy yelling into an empty room!Thank you all so very much.I am truly touched.

Losing My Mind

So I am officially losing my mind!Well….what was left of it anyways.So as I stated a fews post ago,I’ll taking an ill-advised trip to Mexico in December.The trip is not only ill-advised,but due to my own stupidity,it’s now also ill-planned!I have no place to stay yo!Hahahaha.I know exactly what most of you are thinking, “Why in the world did you book a flight across the globe and now reserve a place to stay!?”,weeeeell the specifics I won’t get into because it will depress me,but I’m not the brightest star in the sky,if you catch my wave.So yeah….X-amount of money on a trip that I would have never taken at random(lol) and no place to reside during my 2 week visit.
All is not lost!I have been looking into Airbnb and the rates are perfect for my thin wallet yo!Literally,This trip cost me my limbs,some blood,maybe a fingernail,and my happiness to afford it!Never work jobs out of your element!That type of stress can kill you.

My true dilemma is not the price nor the reason for going,but rather my anxiety is literally holding me hostage right now.I rescheduled my trip for the 28th of December instead of the 21st because I seriously need time to find a place to crash.Anyways,Every day I think about the trip,the sights,sounds,people,a certain something,etc and I literally lose my mind.I lose the will to even want to go and it’s stronger each day.I woke up this morning 85% certain that I will call this entire thing off and stay my brown bunz in Japan yo!Hahahaha….but that is also most cowardly and it goes against the promise that I’ve made.Never break a promise no matter how many times you are broken.My father taught me that,so I must somehow overcome the negative voice in my head.
It sucks,because I honestly felt like I was doing well this year,compared to last,but my mind is growing weaker,but as long as I can make a fist and mentally drown out the doubt with the drums of defiance,I will never cease to back down from anything.I know I am fighting a losing fight and I was already defeated,but I’m too stubborn to let it end with me defeating myself.

I guess I am walking a tightrope of “Should I go or Should I stay home?”lol.It’s not fun because I feel the winds of doubt swaying the rope and I’m at the tipping point.I’ll always hold on,but I fear my grip is weakening and I can’t allow this defeat.So there you have it,nonsensical rambling by the most nonsensical man in Japan.
Have a good day everyone.
Don’t lose your minds reading this