Days: Part 2

IM STILL ALIVE!!MWAHAHAHAHA….
To be honest,I’m not sure how,though.I didn’t sleep no longer than 7 minutes in the span of 6 days and I didn’t (couldn’t) eat within that timeframe because my appetite was nonexistent.I know some will say, “Well you have to make yourself eat” and while I appreciate your encouragement,my body doesn’t work that way.If I force feed myself during a period in which my hunger literally gone,I will become sick.I am currently ill and I am not kidding when I say that I feel like I was buried alive underneath hot rocks.Long story short,Im in the hospital and I feel like I am close to death.lol

Yes,I am indeed a patient in the hospital due to my “extreme condition” and i am under sedatives so i literally feel and think nothing now that I am here.Maybe the nurses are trying to reset my memory and reprogram me to be “normal”!!That is a bit of a reach,but who really knows people true intentions these days ne?
The sedatives are supposed to help me relax and calm my emotional distress but it really doesn’t seem to be working.Everyday I think about a day or words that were said that cracks more of my confidence and trust in others and anything.I still haven’t been able to eat solid foods so I am getting fed apple sauce!!YESSSSS!At least that’s one positive!

I had my friend Megumi bring me my Spanish books because I refuse to let all my hard work and dedication go to waste!So I study at least 5 hours a day and the nurses hate me for it!lol.I never play by the rules yo!
I don’t know,it’s proving difficult to fake smiles or hide my unhappiness now.I was really good at that,but all it takes is an event that makes you realize that you weren’t truly good enough.I guess the truth hurts ne?Well bring on more pain because it’s all I ever feel now.hahaha…
It’s almost 4am and guess who can’t sleep again!?THIS BAKA!!

Thank you for reading
Take care!

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