Have you ever stepped into unfamiliar territory?Have you ever took on a task outside of your skill set?Have you ever felt a fear unlike anything before?Well…I am currently experiencing all of this presently.
I have currently signed on to a new career that has me completely outside of my comfort zone,my skills aren’t remotely on par for this job,and I will be honest,I am literally shaking to my core.
I am currently afraid that I am not good enough to even start this task.I am severely doubting myself and I am physically making myself ill.I despise waking up every morning and I dread the drive to work.I am currently in America by the way lol.Yikes!
You know where and what fear is?Fear is self manifested and it comes from within.When you doubt yourself,those “i can’t” phrases become real.You become crippled by your own nonsense.It’s haunting.But you know what?You CAN do anything if you believe in yourself.Slowly but surely,I am convinced that i can do this.I can conquer all.I just have to defeat myself,Fear.
“What’s in a blog?”,I ask to myself.I have been left so uninspired lately that I’ve just taken a 2 month leave of absence yo!Ugh!I humbly apologize.
I find myself walking a steadily quiet life.The noise that once echoed wherever I’ve roamed is fading ever-so greatly;not that it’s an issue,but I must admit,I find it to be a tad bit eerie.
I am waking every morning to silence and the ol’ grind of heading to the Tsutaya to start my daily work routine.
Yes,I work at a tsutaya/repair shop or whatever the heck the place wants to be labeled.It’s my sole occupation at the moment,because my main job of 12 years has come to a close.More on that later.
I have so much free time and I have to listen to myself think;which is a NO NO!I hate having time to think,because it means that I am wasting time that is limited these days,well….not anymore.
The point is: MY LIFE IS BARE RIGHT NOW!!
Well,This is all.I just needed to rant to kick off my return to blogging.Woooo.I’ll have more later.
See you all later
Until next time…
As I sit on this train ride to work,I’ve seemed to be hit with an inspiration for a blog entry.I don’t quite understand what is so inspiring about a packed train ride to a destination i mostly spend my days,but it happens most often than not.So let me elaborate on my inspirational mood
Everyone is equipped with an original personality whether it’s welcomed or openly despised,It’s our own charm or alarm.But have you ever wondered why certain people you know are the way that they are?Do you ever catch yourself drifting ever so deeply in the spiraling questions as to how a certain personality came to be?
I will admit that I am most intrigued by human behaviour and psychology.It’s going to be a theme of my very first written title someday.But,my interest goes beyond the general consensus that; “he/she is weird,he/she is kind,or he/she is a jerk.”
Why does one act in a weird manner?Why does one carry themselves kindly?What makes that “jerk” tick?
Those are the questions I often find myself asking.Will i ever have an answer?No.Am I satisfied without having resolution?Of course!
Sometimes there are reasons for everything that are not meant to be understand.Maybe the truth isn’t always a welcomed open forum for all to be made aware of.
Privacy is a rare shelter given the age social media popularity.This post all,snap all,share all era is so vast that it is almost impossible to be quiet or reserved.There are internet personalities that thrive off the attention but most of the time,those idols are nothing more than just an “act”.
It’s very easy to pretend to be anything or anyone when you don’t have to be close to everyone who praises you from afar.
So originality is a fleeing concept.
For those that know me,I will never fail to be known as weird,maybe a jerk,maybe a oddy,maybe distant,but never forget these words; “I am who I am.There will never be a single soul able to imitate or recreate my personality”.
As for why I behave the way I do,Who knows.As far as I am concerned,My actions make me feel like me,Kyo.
Keep an open mind yo!
Don’t think too deeply about another personality unless you are ready for madness.
Welcome…yeah it’s been a long minute.Let me break it down if y’all still with it.
I am not a rapper.I was just quoting Mike Shinoda on his song “Welcome”.But anyways,WELCOME to my latest entry!
I know,i know!It’s been months since I last gave attention to my blog and I am truly sorry for the drought.Life his been a hectic ride yo!And I must say,two jobs doesn’t entitle me to much free time.Ugh!But,I still have my health and that is why I stopped complaining yo!
It’s funny,I feel like I am in one of those spring time dramas where the lead character is led to believe one element of reality but in all actuality,It’s just a familiar element tricking that lead into believing a false new element.Hahaha.
Are you confused yet!?So am I!But I have a pretty good grasp on the situation at hand and I am oe with it.Seriously,”ride the wave,Kyosuke!” is what I tell myself.Sometimes,you have to learn to not take life so seriously ne?Just whip your hair out and kick your feet up and breathe in that precious oxygen yo!Hahahahah.
Enough of my babbling.i truly missed posting here.Why?Because I just love the idea of leaving floating messages without a direct recipient.Oh what fun ne!?
Anywho,How are you all lately?2016 treating you well?How is your careers?Kids?families?
Also,To everyone whose birthdays I failed to acknowledged,I apologize and I wish you all a wonderful and successful new year in your lives.Go forth and never look back with doubt yo!
Until next post(or shall I say;)Until my next off day
As i close my eyes in the next few moments,I want to say that I hope to awaken as before but with a smile planted on my face.If not,I just regret that I wasn’t able to give a little happiness to what is important.
Christmas has come and in a blink of an eye,it has gone.Maybe it’s just me,but this year seemed as if it hurried past my comprehension!I still remember vividly lying in the hospital in February and here we are at the end of 2015!Amazing….
Anywho,So no matter what you celebrated this holiday season,I have just one question for you all; what kind of gift(s) did you get?Was santa kind to you?Did your friends,family,or special someone give you a cheer?
Yes,I lied!I had more than one question.Oops
My Christmas was pretty tame.I don’t celebrate as i always say every year.lol.It was kind of somber because i didn’t hear from my close people on that day.Which is understandable.One was traveling home to the family village and the other was celebrating the life of a dearly departed loved one,whom happened to be a good friend to me.
Overall,my gift was that I somehow escaped disaster earlier this year and able to be here today blogging these words.So I am most grateful for life and i will carry on even stronger into the new year yo!
Until next post,
Have a blessed and successful new year!
I have a few free moments before I depart for my morning job.Yes indeed.I am currently working two jobs and i am honestly happy with this job.I mean,the pay isn’t much,but I love interacting with the customers and my coworkers are pretty good people themselves.
My main job subjects me to see,hear,and acknowledge the same three people all year round without outside influences.It gets kind of dull interacting with the same daily,but i love that job.
My new job has given me the opportunity to meet new people.Be they young,old,happy,angry,Japanese,or foreign.It’s an overall fun experience,but i will admit that my sleep schedule has taken a hit.Ouch!
I see things in life differently now.The world is no longer black and white when you stop caring so much about “me me me Me!”You can sit back and watch the world around you.You appreciate the green grass in the spring,the leaf colours in autumn,the silent beautiful snow,the children dreading school work,young couples enjoying their shy dates,etc.
The fact is;there is a great degree of beauty in irrelevance.Once you stop thinking about yourself so much and cherish the passing seconds of life,you start to glow a bit more.
Thank you for reading.
Time for work,so until next time..
The sun is rising over my fair Tokyo morning skies.So I greet you all a grand morning,regradless of where in the world you are located.
6AM in the morning and not an ounce of sleep.Eyes are not broken but rather trained to endured the late nights and early morning hours.Like my mind has a pulse of it’s own.Soaring and racing!What can I possibly be thinking so early,huh?The answer is not quite obvious,but I try to make sense of the dissention between my body and mind.Sigh…
“What a time to truly be alive!” Is what I would’ve said,but given my current course of emotion,I’ll like a second and third opinion.
Sitting on an old and dusty shelf;a flowerless vase lies still,cracked,and covered in the abandonment’s dust.An object meant to hold,can no longer hold on to it’s sense of purpose.Faint,tainted droplets of water escapes through the cracks as if the vase were shedding tears of emptiness.Recalling the days of that precious flower held in it’s once beautiful containment.Now,That flower has been plucked away and held by a more suitable,crackless vase.Hopelessness in the moonlit dust.
The sunlight beams through,the curtains open anew,the day begins,the cracked vase is tipped upright again,the dust wiped away,oh so shiny is the blue hue,and the cracks are filled like new.”I can breathe again”
The flower that was lost can never be forgotten,but this vase is ready to hold again.”I am ready to start anew”
Well there you have it…I am insane.lol.
Now let me get back to drawing Finn Balor!
Until next time,take care.
Thanks for reading