Stranger Things

No this isn’t a post about the wildly popular Netfilx series,because I don’t have Netfilx anymore to review it,all thanks to that bullet to the heart American adaptation of “Death Note”
This post is about my last 2 months,which has for a lack-of-a-better-term been a bunch of strange events.I went from a super clingy(me) relationship with such a sweetheart,to running her away(UNBLOCK ME BAKA!!),and surprisingly,I wasn’t too distraught that I’d gone without sleep for so long that I’d walk into a car,get hit,and end up in a coma for a month lol.I guess it isn’t all too bad ne?
I’ve also went from working at Narita airport,as an internet technician,a store clerk,and translator to scoring the job of my absolute dreams yo!I literally busted my nonexistent hump at 4 places simultaneously to scoring the only one that I needed/wanted!Also,my break up with the sweetheart gave birth to 2(in my opinion) fantastic short stories that I want to start working on.One is a gross romantic story and the other is about finding strength and purpose during depression.More on that later though.

The strangest thing has to go to this woman i was “seeing” (not really) for the last 4 days.So my best friend/ex girlfriend,Asaki gave me the idea awhile ago to just go on dates without expectations and that will distract me from the one I was/still kinda focused on.I told my friends about it just to make small talk and to let them know that my will to live is still there….somewhere lol.So they took the idea,ran with it,and out came a woman I will refer to as A.H,convenient because she was a total asshole,but seriously those are her initials.Anyways,We started talking on LINE for hours a day,my mind is still stuck on the past sweetheart,can’t help it,so I am literally going into this thing only for friendship.No more than friends,no lets grab food on the weekends,and no sex.Back to the hours on LINE part; the majority of the time was spent with her literally talking about herself,her sob stories,and anything I had to add wasn’t relevant enough for her to even touch upon.She was one of those people that love to hear herself speak.So it all accumulated into a lunch date at a ramen shop,my treat.We sat down,ordered food,and as soon as the waitress left,A.H talked nonstop from the moment we ordered til the time food arrived.I think the only words I spoke in that timeframe was: “Yes we are ready to order” lol.
Here’s the kicker,as soon as we finished eating and I was about to add to the conversation,she got up,said: “Thanks for the meal”,left my table,proceeded to sit with another guy,and hug up with him!I was cho confused by the turn of events,that I just stared off into the distance for awhile and somehow manifested a Kyari Pamyu Pamyu song in my head.THAT’S how flabbergasted I was yo!lol.She totally reminded me of someone I dated long ago!
Stranger Things indeed ne

Thanks for reading

Advertisements

Separate Sky

October used to be a month that I looked forward to with such overflowing excitement,but now,I feel nothing but hollow and disappointment.It’s just kind of ironic that last year around this time,I was beginning a business trip in America and I was in a very depressing part of my life.I mean it was so pathetic that I literally caved in to the demands of a ghost.Hahaha.Quite funny ne?
Fast forward to present time and I am not doing any better.I’m over-thinking,I’m anxiously awaiting for a presence that doesn’t recognize me,I’m over-working,and overall I feel defeated.I have no one but myself to blame,because I caved in to a ghost.This time,the ghost was a situation that I mistaken for a mutual bond.Yes,I am quite dumb.

I am sitting outside at the edge of night and wondering what does your sky view look like.It’s a bit baffling that some point in time,our skies seemed to entwine but maybe it was an illusion created by my foolish,hopeful heart.To call you,to hear you,to see you,to share our tales….it was a wonderful time to stand underneath a shared sky,or so I selfishly thought.Without physical evidence,It was nothing more than whisper on the wind ne?Sigh….I was truly selfish and I can’t begin to make it up to you.I don’t know how.The only thing I can do is fade away without a trace.It’s simple.I never existed nor meant anything anyways.Is it disappointing?Sure but it’s nothing new.I have been molded by disappointment when my innocence was stolen at a very young age.I can’t even recall a year in which I haven’t suffered some type of scar.It created me,so I guess I am used to it.
Whether it is friendship or love,it all ends up the same.The actors may change but the ending is always spot on.”You’re a good friend,Kyo but……” Or “I do love you,but…..” Aaaaaaaaaand begin the nice ways of telling me to “fuck off” or dropping hints that my presence is a bother or whatever.All it does is make me feel like I am not good enough.Which I am not.I know that all too well now and there isn’t a lie in the world that can change how I feel.
So yeah….Kyosuke is not a real enough person to be acknowledged.At least that is what my years of trying to bond with others taught.But it’s alright.It truly is.
I just wish I wouldn’t expect people to be different or try to convince me that it will be different.No,you’re all the same but with different excuses.It’s life,and with this type of life,I have lost faith in people,I just try to smile so there will be no worries.

I am only angry with myself for wasting so many people’s time.To everyone,I am truly sorry for everything.
Well,I guess I did enough “Kyo bashing” so I will go have my shower and stare at the ceiling lol.I am truly on my own in a separate sky
Ja ne

Hiatus No More

I have been away for quite some time,ne?I guess that is my fault….well IT IS my fault.The reason for my extended absence is a result of my mental health(depression) reaching an all time high and My lack of interest in anything(depression again).That is a subject I will touch upon in a later post,but I want to make this quick and simply state that I am back.

My drawing above came from a dream I had last night about how people perceive me topless compared to what I actually look like without a shirt.I’m quite the sack of bones ne?Lol.I got a good chuckle from sketching this.I plan to post more of my artwork here often.If you are ever curious to check out my other stuff,you can always check my instagram ( http://www.instagram.com/knky0 ) for more and if you really like it,follow me.It would be greatly appreciated no matter what you choose to do yo!^.^

Thank you all for reading!

真紅-Krimson

Red Thoughts

I’ve considered yesterday
I’m debating tomorrow
Resting beside the Krimson river
Reflections of a life bare afloat

It’s only me
It’s only you
It’s only who
It’s only death

Take my hand
Plunge into the Krimson river
Lets drown anew
If only it’s with you

I am smiling
You all are crying
The skies are silent
It’s only Krimson death

Welcome

Welcome…yeah it’s been a long minute.Let me break it down if y’all still with it.

I am not a rapper.I was just quoting Mike Shinoda on his song “Welcome”.But anyways,WELCOME to my latest entry!
I know,i know!It’s been months since I last gave attention to my blog and I am truly sorry for the drought.Life his been a hectic ride yo!And I must say,two jobs doesn’t entitle me to much free time.Ugh!But,I still have my health and that is why I stopped complaining yo!

It’s funny,I feel like I am in one of those spring time dramas where the lead character is led to believe one element of reality but in all actuality,It’s just a familiar element tricking that lead into believing a false new element.Hahaha.
Are you confused yet!?So am I!But I have a pretty good grasp on the situation at hand and I am oe with it.Seriously,”ride the wave,Kyosuke!” is what I tell myself.Sometimes,you have to learn to not take life so seriously ne?Just whip your hair out and kick your feet up and breathe in that precious oxygen yo!Hahahahah.

Enough of my babbling.i truly missed posting here.Why?Because I just love the idea of leaving floating messages without a direct recipient.Oh what fun ne!?
Anywho,How are you all lately?2016 treating you well?How is your careers?Kids?families?

Also,To everyone whose birthdays I failed to acknowledged,I apologize and I wish you all a wonderful and successful new year in your lives.Go forth and never look back with doubt yo!

Until next post(or shall I say;)Until my next off day
Take care,Everyone!
Ja!

Now

Good afternoon,blog of mine

This place seems to be the only place where I can feel a peace without a feeling of backlash coming my way.Wait,who knows?Maybe my post will get get me in trouble ne?We’ll see.Lets get started.

I like to believe that the weather is a tie-in with my life.And if Tokyo’s humid and wet weather is any indication,my life is predictably unstable.Yuck!
With that unstable ground comes the thoughts of what went wrong or what is currently wrong.I am by no means “perfect” but people have their opinions of you and once they are opinionated,it’s hard to do anything without feedback.Fine by me yo!

I constantly follow the same routine daily; sleep,wake up,prepare for work,go to work,draw,sleep,and repeat.
I am not bothered by my predictable lifestyle.In fact,I am highly comfortable with it yo!……But people like to dissect every little thing you do.Like that class biology subject,you will be picked apart,piece by piece.Little mistakes are under the microscope and what is in the eye of the “beholder” is something SO big,so it’s unreasonably blown out of proportion.But,trolls feed on the activity that you give back ne?So what happens when you stop reacting?It pisses off the trolls and they shuffle back into the shadows waiting for the next series of events to sink their teeth into.That’s life!Or so they say ne

What am I ranting about?I have no clue.I just missed blogging yo!Wahahaha!
But seriously,life is too short to care what is said or thought about you by the masses.Who are they?Just a bunch of people same as everyone else.Life is what you make it,and I decided to make it nice and silent.Do I care if I’m disliked?Wait,i don’t care to be liked.I’m not from Hollywood yo!Do I want to hear positive reviews of myself?Only if they are staring back at me through the mirror.Does echoing gossip effect me?Oh,i’m sorry.I was too busy blasting my ears with Utada Hikaru songs yo!
Plain and simple,STOP TRYING TO IMPRESS OTHERS AND IMPRESS YOU!ONLY YOU!!
Life is simpler that way yo!Believe me

Whether you are unstable or stable,BE YOU
Emo or happy-go-luck,BE YOU
Old and alone,BE YOU
Dancing in your underwear on a Friday night without a care in a world,BE YOU
Let the trolls bark at the flaws.Bear no claws and just draw yo!Thats what I always say.

P.S I am on a complete wrestling binge lately yo! WWE NXT IS SO DAMN GOOD!!Hehehe

Until next post(that makes sense)
Ciao