I am still not sure how I should go about updating this blog.Maybe daily?Every other day?weekly?Bi-weekly?I have not the slightest clue.but,I do know one thing….I am beginning to enjoy blogging again!
So,here we goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Lately,I have been really stressed about many things and it seems as if the tides aren’t turning anytime soon.That fact lead me to an idea for an entry today.
As you can see in the picture above.It’s a drawing I did awhile ago and I want it to be the focus of this topic.
The reasoning for that is that,it may only seem like a simple bad drawing,but its much more than that.In fact,that drawing represent an emotion I was feeling when I conceived it.
that was the initial emotion I was feeling when my hands composed that drawing.Not only was I just sketching to kill time,i was sketching with emotion.It’s a habit I picked up during my depressed teen years.During those times,i felt I had no outlet to express myself or how I was feeling.Introverted was my lifestyle,shyness was my overall armour to society,and mute was my sound of choice.I didn’t know how to handle attention,how to fit in,or how to explain how I felt.I was always nervous,but wanted help,wanted to speak but my mouth wouldn’t produce the sounds necessary to communicate,and my body wouldn’t allow me to approach others.I was stuck!
I started watching anime at a very young age,i got into manga,and I was fascinated with how the author/artist conveyed his/her story not only through the words,but by the characters needed to form his/her universe.
I picked up a pencil and started sketching and what came out was weird little characters that always had a frown or shooting some form of spirit energy from their hands.
I was angry at myself for not being able to do things like normal kids and people,to talk normal,act normal,and it all came out in the form of my weird little frowning characters.
Drawing was and still is my way to cope with life.When I feel a certain way that I can not explain.I pick up a notebook,random sheet of paper,or just any blank canvas and I just let my emotions flow unto my hands and release on the paper.
That drawing above is a representation of my feeling misunderstood and that only my art can truly understand how I feel and how I am.That character in the mask with blues eyes represents me and he wears his art on every foreseeable part of his body.Hair,body,clothing,etc.My art is me and it’s my emotion.It’s my escape when I feel closed in,trapped,lost….drawing saves me from letting go of humanity and hope.
Drawing is my medicine.
Even while writing this entry,i have an open notebook and I’m sketching my feeling of being confused.Hehehehe.
I guess this is one habit I won’t ever heal from ne.
Until Next Entry
Odaiji Ni yo!