セール!Sale!

BOYFRIEND FOR SALE!!!
He isn’t the brightest bulb in the lamp,but he will do whatever to bring a smile to your face.He can dance,sing(don’t encourage it),cook(20+ years of experience),laundry is no problem for this lad,and if you can’t speak Japanese,no biggie,he will learn your native tongue (wink wink) lol,but he will seriously learn your language just so he can tell you how much he loves you in words you are familiar with.

Seriously though,this drawing came about after I got dumped not too long ago.Yes,if none of you couldn’t tell by my hyper-emo post for a month and a half,I was suffering from heartache lol.I’m doing much better now,so don’t worry.I can joke about it and my friends seem to get a kick out of it.My best friend,Akira actually inspired this idea.She was like “you get dumped so much,you will need a sign attached to you to find a suitable girlfriend/owner that is willing to love you”,and that’s when i got this idea lol.So yeah,boyfriend for sale.

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Necesito Tu Ayuda

おはよう,Blog!
I think I’ve stated this before,but I’ll say it again just in case.I am studying Español!!Yes,I am learning Spanish and I am having a grand time with it!I don’t quite understand it myself,but I am happy when I learn something new from Spanish,even though my reason for mastery of the language has changed,I have gained a new purpose for it.My purpose now is to master the language in order to open the door to new bonds with an even larger number of people where a language barrier would have existed.NOT ANYMORE YO!!Kyo is coming with a new found power in the form of a Spanish tongue!

My question is: Where/what are some online Spanish learning sites I could use to gain friends who would want to help me with my learning?Is there anyone reading this post willing to exchange contact info with the purpose of helping gain confidence in my sentence structuring and speaking?lol….I know I am asking alot,but I am seriously pumped to become fluent in Spanish.
Thank you for everything!

Maldición Del Corazón

When I was about 6 years of age,my best friend,Akira and I went bike riding and we were both dumb kids,so we rode through mud,insect infested grass,and literally for almost 4 hours.The skies darkened,raindrops started falling lightly,so we gather our remaining energy to begin our journey home.About 10 minutes into the ride with home nowhere in sight,the rain poured heavily upon us,mind you that we were not prepared for rain,thus we had not been dress appropriately for such weather.Akira challenged me with “the first person to reach my (Akira’s) house wins!”,and we started peddling faster,until her front tire hit a big rock and she fell to the ground,her bike not too far beside her,and she cried out from the pain in her ankle.I jumped off my bike,ran over to her,and tried to encourage her to stand so we can make it home to my mother since she is a doctor.Akira couldn’t stand at all,so I kneeled in front of her,looking forward,and I told her to get on my back.I picked her up,leaving the bikes behind,which caused her to feel guilty,so I promised her that I would come back to retrieve the bikes once I get her home.
We finally made it to her home,my legs sore and tired from carrying her,drained of my overall energy,and soaked from the rain; Akira’s mother answered my knock and immediately retrieved Akira and aided her bruised ankle.She told me to come inside to get warm,but I bowed deeply,refused,apologized,and I ran all the way back to retrieve our bikes as promised,returned her bike,and finally I made it home.Later that night I fell ill with a high fever that lasted nearly two weeks

The moral of the story is: No matter my relationship with someone,the changing situations,or feelings,I will never give up on anyone.

The reason I am writing this is because I am attempting to rekindle my friendship with someone whom I’ve dated long ago.Insane,ne?Yes,but where is the golden rule stating that you shouldn’t be friends with your ex?If you’ve started out as friends,then you can easily revert back to friends.She was literally my partner in crime in every sense of the phrase,but our breakup not only put distance between us,it created a huge void that we couldn’t recover from.
I have always said that I forgive everything before anyone ever decides to apologize because I want to keep those precious bonds.Failed feelings of the heart shouldn’t be an excuse to dismiss someone or the memories that were made in happiness.That is my belief and on the grounds of that belief,I have maintained friendships with some of my exes except one lol and I even made good friends with people who’ve bullied me during my school years!I never give up on people that are in my life,because they have impacted it in some capacity and I am grateful for their influence.I know alot of people have given up on me and that is oke.Everyone has their own reasons for keeping you around,but if you ever come into my life,believe that I won’t let you walk away easily.My gratitude and interest will always lead me to you again.
It’s my heart’s curse.

Thank you for reading.

Hablar

Quick post before I take my mini nap.
So I have a new idea I want to try on my blog and it’s quite nerve-wrecking to me!My anxiety levels are off the meters due to this idea,but it’s something I have been interested in doing for quite some time now.
I want to start recording my voice and uploading the clips here,opposed to typing out long blog post.Instead of having to read through almost one thousand words,you can listen to my poor English navigate you through the tales from my life.Hahaha.Although every post won’t feature my voice,but the more important ones will,or the ones I feel have deep value to me will be the spoken ones.I just don’t know how to upload my voice files here or if there’s a plugin that would make it so much easier to add such files to my blog and have them playable.
Anyways,if anyone knows of any plugins that would aid in my idea,your comments are more than welcome and I will personally thank you for your time and efforts yo!
So yeah,Look forward to hearing my Engrish invading your ears with nonsense soon!

友達 y Amiga

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This is a drawing of me and my best friend from Mexico.I drew it earlier this year and it was a bit difficult to draw for me in the beginning.Alot of it had to do with I don’t know what is her go-to style of clothing and a theme that would represent our friendship.After I’ve decided on the clothing,everything else became simple.The theme became “clingy and shy” lol.I am clinging over her shoulder and she is giving a shy smirk.It’s been the theme of our friendship that has extended over 5+ years now.
We had a bit of a falling out recently which is my fault.I hope to make amends with you one day,but I want everyone to know that my best friend from Mexico has influenced me in such a way that she found herself in one of my drawings.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR GETTING ME HOOKED ON GAME OF THRONES!!

Stranger Things

No this isn’t a post about the wildly popular Netfilx series,because I don’t have Netfilx anymore to review it,all thanks to that bullet to the heart American adaptation of “Death Note”
This post is about my last 2 months,which has for a lack-of-a-better-term been a bunch of strange events.I went from a super clingy(me) relationship with such a sweetheart,to running her away(UNBLOCK ME BAKA!!),and surprisingly,I wasn’t too distraught that I’d gone without sleep for so long that I’d walk into a car,get hit,and end up in a coma for a month lol.I guess it isn’t all too bad ne?
I’ve also went from working at Narita airport,as an internet technician,a store clerk,and translator to scoring the job of my absolute dreams yo!I literally busted my nonexistent hump at 4 places simultaneously to scoring the only one that I needed/wanted!Also,my break up with the sweetheart gave birth to 2(in my opinion) fantastic short stories that I want to start working on.One is a gross romantic story and the other is about finding strength and purpose during depression.More on that later though.

The strangest thing has to go to this woman i was “seeing” (not really) for the last 4 days.So my best friend/ex girlfriend,Asaki gave me the idea awhile ago to just go on dates without expectations and that will distract me from the one I was/still kinda focused on.I told my friends about it just to make small talk and to let them know that my will to live is still there….somewhere lol.So they took the idea,ran with it,and out came a woman I will refer to as A.H,convenient because she was a total asshole,but seriously those are her initials.Anyways,We started talking on LINE for hours a day,my mind is still stuck on the past sweetheart,can’t help it,so I am literally going into this thing only for friendship.No more than friends,no lets grab food on the weekends,and no sex.Back to the hours on LINE part; the majority of the time was spent with her literally talking about herself,her sob stories,and anything I had to add wasn’t relevant enough for her to even touch upon.She was one of those people that love to hear herself speak.So it all accumulated into a lunch date at a ramen shop,my treat.We sat down,ordered food,and as soon as the waitress left,A.H talked nonstop from the moment we ordered til the time food arrived.I think the only words I spoke in that timeframe was: “Yes we are ready to order” lol.
Here’s the kicker,as soon as we finished eating and I was about to add to the conversation,she got up,said: “Thanks for the meal”,left my table,proceeded to sit with another guy,and hug up with him!I was cho confused by the turn of events,that I just stared off into the distance for awhile and somehow manifested a Kyari Pamyu Pamyu song in my head.THAT’S how flabbergasted I was yo!lol.She totally reminded me of someone I dated long ago!
Stranger Things indeed ne

Thanks for reading

Sayonara Mexico

How far would you go…?
How much pain would you endure…?
How much would you change…?
Is it all worth it…?
…for someone

My friends and family all asked that question and I was unmoved in my answer that I would do anything,literally anything.I’m not even joking.Some of the things I did is cho embarrassing,but love makes you do things outside of your character.All for the sake of a smile that wasn’t your own ne?That logic can be applied to my wanting to travel to Mexico so eagerly,but why?There is literally nothing there for me and no one would be happy that I was there.What was my reason then and why did I want this so much?I was chasing something that was never there,but I have convinced myself that everything would be made to work if I just went.I am fool.
My best friend and someone I’ve dated for a long time asked me a serious question that made me see the light,so to speak.She asked me, “Is that person willing to change for you?”, and it hit me,no….it was just me alone,chasing a mirage that I should have ran from.I created a fictional situation and now my heart is in pieces.

With that said,I have decided that I am no longer going to Mexico.Disappointment,anxiety,stress,depression,and a false sense of assurance has defeated this stubborn fool.
I apologize to you all for wasting your time with my whining.Please take care always
Sayonara

I.N.Y.O

So guys,for the last few days,you’ve all read my flip-flopping on whether I will go to Mexico next month or will I save myself the shame and disappointment and stay home.I am still most indecisive about it.I’ve consulted with my friends and to a resounding “Fuck that trip” in the worst engrish possible lol!For me it’s not that simple and that’s why I need your opinions.
The trip has lost all meaning and it’s honestly a waste at this point.Instead on dwelling on something that was ill-advised from the start,I’ve decided to have some fun with it.Either way,Im screwed out of nearly 250.000 yen(Im not even going to try to write out all the conversions lol).With that said,I’m going to let you all decided if Kyo should go to Mexico,get drunk,and be depressed in a foreign land,or Stay in Tokyo,get drunk,and be in familiar depression?Just type “Yes” or “No” the comment section.I encourage you to give your opinions.This should be fun ne?

Thanks for reading

Losing My Mind: Chapter 2

For the last 23 hours,I have decided that my trip to Guadalajara,Mexico is cancelled.Will it stay cancelled?I really don’t know,but at this point in time and with every little fear,insecurity,and lack of hope has me on the edge of collapse.I truly want to go and be the person of my word no matter the modifications that have made this process most discouraging.I guess if I am still feeling this way around this time next week,I’ll truly be home for the holidays in Tokyo lol.Like my pun there?No no,It wasn’t clever.I suck at those yo!

Let’s be honest here,I am heartbroken,I’m in pain,I’m sad,I’m being replaced,and I’m still hopeful.I lost someone that truly captured my attention more than anyone has before,someone I could talk to for hours on end about nothing that seemed cho important,and most importantly,I lost my best friend.Yes,I have a huge crush on someone who is fantastic in every way possible.She can talk and you immediately fall in love with her voice,she stares at you and you are lost in her beautiful brown eyes,her humour is so on point,and her presence make the darkest of times,the best of times.That’s my crush.I know,it’s funny that I got myself twisted into a pretzel just for a “crush”,but if you knew what I know,you would understand how addictive this person truly is.She was my little piece of heaven.
She is waaaaaaay out of my league,but I never gave up trying to win her attention.I am learning her mother tongue to try to impress her with my ability to speak on par with her beautiful voice and to prove that nothing is too difficult when she is the one I’m aiming for.I still suck at Spanish,but oi,I’ll get better and I’ll probably drop english for it yo!lol!
I worked literally 4 jobs simultaneously to fund a trip to her city so that I can confess my admiration of her and profess my love to her.To be able to hold both her hands in mine,look her in the eyes,and speak words that are true and that convey how she is worth everything no matter the hardship,she is worth fighting for.I guess that’s why this trip means so much to me,and it’s probably the scariest thing I have ever attempted in my life.

You will read that paragraph and go “If she is so special,why cancel???”
Well,When someone is unsure about you,but you are most certain of them,who gets hurt in the end?When you feel deeply about someone and they feel less about you,who grows a hole in their chest?When you extend your hand while falling in love,but the recipient turns and walks away,who do you think falls into a downward spiral of one sided painful emotions?That’s where I am currently residing lol.I am falling and I’m praying for the bottom,but it never comes.I’m stuck in a one sided love and it’s a tornado of misery,yet I am hopeful that love prevails.My heart is telling to keep fighting,but my mind is asking why am I going the distance for something that won’t move an inch towards you.I’m torn and that’s why I want to cancel this trip,but I also want to go.I just don’t know anything.I don’t talk to my crush at all anymore and I know she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore because she says so indirectly.I understand that.I am annoying.I just don’t know where my heart is going,but I do know is that I have a crush on someone that is making me lose my mind lol.So as of now,I’m not going to Mexico.

Thank you for reading

Update 2017/11/04

Happy November,everyone!
I know my blog has been quiet.Im not good at being a consistent blogger due to work and my current mental state.Work is work which sucks hardcore bananas,but my dead weight currently is my unstable mind and trying to fake being “alright”.
Forgive me,everyone.I will expand on it later and I will be back soon.
Your patience is most appreciated.
Thank you